Things that are difficult

I life I believe that things have to be difficult, otherwise life would be boring. What I don't understand is why everything has to be hard at once.I work hard, im a nice guy who does my best to help those who need it, and yet i cop crap from people for doing so. Sometimes being between a rock and a hard place sucks, especially when its a catch 22 where no matter what you choose, it will piss someone off. I have decided that i wont let this happen anymore. I am now going to do things that i believe are right.

My best mate/tattooist gave me some awesome advice last night, advice that i will keep forever. He said there are 2 types of friends in the world. The first is the type of friends who sticks by you. The second type is the friends that you stick to. The third type of friend are the ones where it is mutual. The first type will get what they need from you, then they will leave and you may or may see them again. He said not to be sad when this happens, as you know you helped that person in that particular time, and they really needed you. The second obviously is you doing that to other people. You get what you need from them and then you go on your way. Now this may seem selfish, but everyone does it. You make friends in the wierdest of places. School friends, work friends, even friends that you make on a camp or conference you get something from. You could be close for those few days, think you have a bond and then never see them again. The third is the most important one. The mutual. When this occurs, you know they are going to be there for life. You may only see this person once or twice a year, but when you do it is like time hasn't even passed. I have very few of these friends, but the ones i do have, i hold very close. They are the men that have shaped me today.

This got me thinking. I sat and thought about all the people currently in my life, trying to put them into a category of what they mean to me. I found it hard, as it isnt easy to think that you may just be using someone to get something out of them. I would hate to do that, as it isnt fair on anyone. Then it struck me. Hindsight is a bastard of a thing, but it occurs after the fact. I won't know who fits into what category until everything is said and done. That the fun part of life i guess. Nothing is predictable. Nothing.

This upset me a tad. Could i be using everyone?? Are people using me?? Do i need to change my habbits of what i think i have made progress from the old drug fucked James?? Was i better then??

The answer is no. I refuse to change anything whatsoever. Why should i change?? I am me. People can think what they want, but there is nothing anyone can say that will make me be something i am not.

What am i you may ask???

I am James Dickinson. Thats all you need to know.

James out.